Sunday, November 06, 2005

When did I get old?

When did I start going to Home Depot on the weekend and begging out of going dancing because I was too tired?

When did work become the highlight and panic of my life? When did I start scouring housing postings, looking for a financial planner and setting up investment accounts? I go home and talk about RRSPs and taxes with my dad. I complain about my back and migraines and worry that I'm losing my most fertile years while I wait for marriage.

I tell you that I don't want it.
I do not want this life.

I want new clothes and a cool haircut. I want to hang out in coffee shops and read controversial novels and listen to the latest local bands. I want to do yoga and get my nails done and have hot dates where I get butterflies in my stomach and dream about kissing him. I want to go dancing until 2 in the morning and roll out of bed at 1pm the next morning to a shower, greasy breakfast and coffee and feel completly refreshed. I want to giggle over the latest Cosmo magazine with my friends as we eat chocolate ice cream and doritos with abandon.

I want to not worry about my future.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your life is in your hands. If you don't like the path your life is taking, choose a new one. Talk is cheap.

Anonymous said...

you should still be able to do all the things you want and be a grown up.
take all you love about being "young" and all the cool new stuff about being old and live it!! it'll be so worth it

raye said...

both good pieces of advice. my sister-in-law told me tonight to just stop worrying about the future, especially if it is messing up your present cause you only get one of those and the future changes constantly.

Anonymous said...

Cath! Don't be so melodramatic. You have like 10 years of good fertile years left. As for the other stuff - go book yourself a massage and a haircut and a manicure and buy a Cosmo and chocolate ice cream and all that other stuff. You deserve it.
As for the dancing: as I used to say to my friend Sarah when we were out dancing (she now lives in NB), "I want to dance forever!" I will - and so will you. Tree.