Thursday, November 24, 2005

I had a rare but great night out with my old roomies Ev and Anita.

We of course talked about relationships. And they had an interesting point.

You see, I've always been told that relationships are a lot of work.

But they said that if a relationship is too much work, it's probably not right.

So, who's right?
Relationships: a lot of work or not?
And what's "too much"?


Anonymous said...

I agree with Ev and Anita. I think it can take hard work to get a relationship to a good point, but it shouldn't be hard work indefinitely. I wouldn't have been able to pursue my hobby the way I have if my marriage wasn't the last thing I have to worry about.


Anonymous said...

People change over the years with just living & even experiencing the same life events differently. So the relationship changes as the people in it change. It IS therefore a lot of work to remain at the same point of the relationship at which you started, which is why some people give up. Sort of like some give up a hobby although they used to like it. Which is not to say that people can't continue to change & discover that their partner has become someone they can start a new satisfying relationship with. I believe that often happens

Raye said...

I have no relationship wisdom to offer as I am completely useless in that area. However, I do like this quote from "The Mexican"...

"when two people love each other but they just can't seem to get it together, how do you know when enough is enough?.... Never."

I think the point is not that you put up with it forever, but rather that it shouldn't feel like "work" but more a labour of love ... like having a job that you're passionate about - you still have to work at it but it feels rewarding rather than draining. At least, those were the thoughts that a friend and I discussed last night.

Stephanie said...

In my humble opinion, relationships are work, but it shouldn't be hard or painful work. It's like working on a novel: it's fun and rewarding but it still takes time and effort. Life in general is hard work (i.e. managing a career, being a good mother, etc.) but your relationship is your safe place to fall (and cuddle) after the difficult work is done. Having been with my husband for almost 11 years, I defintely agree that people constantly change and evolve. Sometimes that means people change together and sometimes it doesn't. How much can two people evolve over a lifetime and still remain connected as partners? Personally, I don't know because Shane and I have always changed together. Is that fate, good communication or both?