Kendra and mini-Kendra

Kendra and mini-Kendra
Originally uploaded by webgoddesscathy.

Kendra is marrying my brother. It's official.

She had her very first bodice fitting in my apartment tonight with my aunt Jane the seamstress and Mini-Kendra, the body double.

They're all going to be very good close if the dress is going to turn out perfect.

It's so easy to get caught up in wedding fever.

It looks like so much fun: shopping for the perfect pretty dress, having everyone pay attention to you, figuring out how exactly you will do your hair in a year from now, people offering to help you do everything.

All because of a ring and a ceremony.

All the same, I'm pretty excited for them.

And Kendra is, too. She went shopping today with my mom and aunt Jane to look at fabric. I met them for dinner and I thought Kendra might burst when she showed me the swatch she'd picked out.

I've agreed to do a wedding site for the happy couple, so stay tuned for details. It'll have more of this type of posting on it - just following them along to their big day. Basically, The Kendra and Matt Show.

Fun times!

A very interesting response to my question about relationships. Thank you to all who had some wisdom to share.

I suppose that I often work too hard at everything instead of letting it BE. In so doing, I take some of the enjoyment out of it.

It's amazing how many time you can relearn a lesson. While travelling, I learned that going with the flow was really the best way. Worrying only ever made me unhappy with where I was.

Maybe a relationship is like that. And life in general.

Less thinking, more enjoying?

I had a rare but great night out with my old roomies Ev and Anita.

We of course talked about relationships. And they had an interesting point.

You see, I've always been told that relationships are a lot of work.

But they said that if a relationship is too much work, it's probably not right.

So, who's right?
Relationships: a lot of work or not?
And what's "too much"?

Holy crap, I hate cold! Our first snow of the season and you'd think I'd never been through it before. I'm a-quiver with bitterness.

No wonder I get fat during the winter: I never want to go outside!

I'm not kidding: if I could huddle inside my apartment for the whole winter, I would totally do it.

I mean, as long as people would bring me decaf lattes from time to time...

Well, apparently I'm not as retarded with my money as I thought!

I finally met with a financial planner tonight. And I seem to be doing OK.

She says that I'm very frugal (thanks Dad!) and I have no debts and have gone in the right direction. Plus, I apparently look young!

So, now I have this money and these sort-of plans for life. And a decision to make about what to do with my money.

Her advice was pretty good - not just the "where to invest" stuff, either.

And next week Alex will be meeting her too, just to go over his situation and see where we stand together.

How cute. Our first couple-venture.

I always find it interesting to check out my site statistics.

I mean, I'm not selling anything, so I don't look at them a huge amount. Don't get me wrong, I really ENJOY seeing the number of people who visit my site. I find it ultimately flattering. I cannot imagine that 500 unique visitors drop by every month. That seems a lot, when I really feel that I haven't been at my best in the past year.

I mean, let's be honest: I'm whiney and not very scandlous lately. So what's the draw? I guess it's gotta be that people just wanna stay up to date on what's happening in my oh-so-exciting life.

I get a lot of people finding my site via ficklefeline.blogspot.com.

And someone found my site by searching "pee her pants" - I couldn't figure that one out. But I went to msn.sympatico.ca and put that in and sure enough, up came my site as the #1 result. How very strange. I must pee my pants a lot. Or talk about others who pee their pants.

Honestly, I think there are people who deserve this honour far more than I do. There are whole websites on the topic that come up below mine, for goddessakes!

But I do get traffic from people who search for "bad toronto movers". YAY! Number 15 in Yahoo! If I can warn one more person off of Logan Movers, I will feel that I've had some justice. Scammers.

~Grr~

It's a beautiful day outside and I can't seem to get myself off the couch.

I am bound to my book. I can't stop turning pages. "Wicked" is a fascinating book.

So the plan to get me outside is the promise of a nice decaf latte where I can settle down and read.

I had a fantastic day yesterday shopping with my brother. He is far and away my favourite person to shop for/with. We started out by going to see a teeny tiny townhouse condo. Cute, but very small - too small even for me. We took a look through some other nearby condo developments before having a nice coffee with Alex and chatting about financial woes. Always a favourite topic in my family.

And then it was shop, shop, shop. By the end of the day, we were tired. I made a lasagne while he watched the Leaf game. I think it might be the first time anyone's watched TV here in my apartment.

We ate the last of the cinnabons that Alex had brought me the night before... Actually, it was very sweet. Alex and I were going to go to the movies and decided to eat in. Alex brought me the best dinner I could imagine: cinnabons and a decaf latte. He loves me.

And we saw "Walk the line," based on the bio of Johnny Cash. Great flick. Seriously, go see it.

All in all, it's been a good weekend. Now, if I could only get myself outside. The decaf latte calls...

Matching cleavage

Matching cleavage
Originally uploaded by webgoddesscathy.

For some reason, I couldn't remember how much fun my 30th birthday had been. And then I remembered I had uploaded all these pictures to my Flickr account.

It really was great.

Raye took me out, Jess took me out, my workmates took me out, my friends wine and dined me.

My mom took me to Dairy Queen and for Thai food. My favourites! I went home to the farm and chillaxed there. I got tickets to a musical.

I bought myself a massage and a movie.

It was good.

But some year, I'm doing it up BIG.


For more pictures of my 30th birthday, click here.

I'm not really sure what happened, but things are pretty damn OK right now.

I've got a lot of good things happening.

I'm going on vacation! St. Maarten holiday, here I come!

I have a lot of good things going on, professionally.

I love my apartment, but I finally got a housing posting that I was interested in going to look at!

I've started cooking a bit

I've been exercising a bit

My friends are good

I'm getting my financial crap in order

I have a date with my boyfriend tomorrow

Christmas is coming!

Holy crap, could things be better?

OK, yes, I could have bought my tickets 2 days ago when they were $30 cheaper. And maybe my client meeting could have gone a little better today. However, these were outside my realm of control.

We'll see how well I can control client-crazy-factor tomorrow.

I am feeling better today.

I had an upsetting talk with Alex last night in which he basically told me to stop thinking such dark thoughts, that it can only lead to a downward spiral.

So I tried.
I work up early. I made sure to think good thoughts. I took deep breaths in the shower. I got into work late, vanilla latte in hand, and still took lunch (NamSan - yummy Japanese).

I laughed. I went to meetings relaxed.
I went home at 5pm.

I went up to the exercise room in my building and I ran!
There was no one there. I grooved to the New Pornographers while I sweated. And then I came back down and did my back care yoga.

Yay for exercise!
Yay for better days! (I listened to the Goo Goo Dolls song lyrics too.)

I've been in a bad mood lately and that needs to change.

Any suggestions? (Besides "cheer up"?)

It seems impossible, but somehow I managed to spend almost $300 on not a whole lot this week.

I'm careful with my money, so when I can spend that much on very little, it's easy to see how others can spend so much more.

People were asking me last night how I managed to pay off my loans so quickly. And I said that I lived off of $30k for over a year. They wondered how I could do it.

Well, I did it by not buying coffee. By not eating out very often. By not buying new clothes. By not having cable. By having cheap at-home vacations. By making my christmas presents for some people and just reducing my budget and being more creative for others. It's amazing how the little things add up.

I don't deny myself the things I like, but I'm realistic about what I can afford on a daily basis and what becomes a luxury.

When something becomes a luxury, you really enjoy it. When it's an everyday extravagance, I find you lose the sense of how special it is.

By that theory, then, shouldn't I be MORE happy the less I have?

I am craving gourmet food.

A mixed greens salad with roasted portabella mushrooms, roasted red peppers, goat cheese and a perfect balsamic vinaigrette.

Lamb chops with garlic and rosemary. Or sea bass with a wasabi beurre blanc. Perhaps some seared scallops. Yes, definitely seared scallops so big you need to cut them in half to fit them in your mouth.

And I forgot to start with garlicky escargots in a phyllo pastry.

To finish, molten chocolate cake with homemade vanilla bean ice cream. Or creme brulee with a perfectly bruleed top that cracks under just the right amount of pressure from my spoon.

Just to be clear, this craving will not be satiated by eating yet another disappointing bagel.

Why, oh why have I stopped cooking??

Saturdays can be so nice.

Wake up, read. Eat some fruit. Read.
Shower.

Log into your computer and chat with long-distance friend over messenger.

Clean bathroom. Sort of.

Get a call from round-the-corner friend because she's "in the neighbourhood" walking her dog.

Check out my apartment before going for coffee. Decaf vanilla latte.

Walk through crunchy bright leaves, sit on church bench under the big tree and talk.

Drop off friend round the corner and continue on to buy bagels at the bakery.

Stop off at condo show centre and pick up brochure to read while eating (almost) perfect bagel.

View another condo show room.

Get ready to go out to downtown mate's birthday.
Flip through magazine, inspiring fashion envy while eating another bagel.

Consider walking to the birthday party as it's really nice out, but decide it would take over 2 hours and my feet would hurt before the night even began.

Consider it for tomorrow instead.

Just got back from Alex's show.

They had a pretty good show at the Horseshoe and what made it even better was that I got to have dinner with Scott and Kat. They're so great. They seem so happy and it really gives me a lot of hope.

Of course, they're very excited about being pregnant.
(Again, it seems that everyone's getting married, buying houses and having babies these days.)

I really don't get together with them enough.

And then Mike was able to join us at the Horseshoe and he had an animated story or two to tell, as usual! We've been friends since university (me, Scott, Mike). We've all changed somewhat but I can honestly say we have all become better people. Even though I totally loved us then, we're so way better now.

Funny, I always thought it went downhill from university.

But here I am, totally in love, living in a cute apartment with a decent job and a packed social calendar that doesn't involve drinking myself into oblivion.

Who knew?

Oh the sweet, sweet joy of working only a 7.5-hour day.
Of leaving the office when the sun is still out.
Of laughing a little.

But, I tell ya, it's damn tough work dealing with a grumpy boyfriend when you are yourself extremely grumpy.

What DOES one do in such situations?

Telling them that they're grumpy does not help. That's for sure. I should know; I also HATE that.

Going for yummy coffee and chatting doesn't help either. That would totally help me, although I might prefer a good book, magazine or my journal.

Hugging helped. A little.

But sleep is the only solution. For cranky babies there's really no substitute. Except maybe playing your favourite song really loud and dancing around your apartment.

What do you do when you have a ridiculous client who makes your life miserable?

I know I'm supposed to focus on the positive, on solutions, and make changes to improve things and not let the small stuff bother me.

Right. I've read all the self-help books our society is be addicted to.

So, how do you make all that happen beyond just knowing it to be the correct course of action?

I know I'm supposed to be somehow be perfect at all times, but seriously, the next person who says "talk is cheap" is getting a sharp object in an uncomfortable orifice. Unless they actually have walked in my shoes and know that I'm not doing everything I can to try to make things better.

Hey, guess what? You're right, I'm a failure because I can't seem to change my life at this particular moment. You're right, I can't seem to prevent a project from hell from taking over my every waking moment. You're right, I can't choose a new path because I can't give up on the dreams to which this path was supposed to lead me. And you're right: I did choose this path so now I have to deal with it. I'm dealing with it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

I'm sure you're shocked to find out that I'm not perfect afterall. Don't worry, maybe it's a temporary chemical imbalance.

Today I ate poutine for lunch.

Remind me never to do that again.

When did I get old?

When did I start going to Home Depot on the weekend and begging out of going dancing because I was too tired?

When did work become the highlight and panic of my life? When did I start scouring housing postings, looking for a financial planner and setting up investment accounts? I go home and talk about RRSPs and taxes with my dad. I complain about my back and migraines and worry that I'm losing my most fertile years while I wait for marriage.

I tell you that I don't want it.
I do not want this life.

I want new clothes and a cool haircut. I want to hang out in coffee shops and read controversial novels and listen to the latest local bands. I want to do yoga and get my nails done and have hot dates where I get butterflies in my stomach and dream about kissing him. I want to go dancing until 2 in the morning and roll out of bed at 1pm the next morning to a shower, greasy breakfast and coffee and feel completly refreshed. I want to giggle over the latest Cosmo magazine with my friends as we eat chocolate ice cream and doritos with abandon.

I want to not worry about my future.

Today I recieved the following email from Laura. It's a sad story, but it makes me really happy that I did something to try to prevent Logan Movers from scamming others. If you missed it, you can read my post about my horrific moving experience here.

While I didn't prevent the whole scam, it could have been worse for her. Here is the sad, unedited email from Laura:

* * *
Hi Cathy,

I am very upset that I didn't find your site until now, however, I am so
thankful for finding it when I did or all might have been lost.

Today my roomie and I used Logan Movers to move out of our apartment. When
we spoke to Gary, the owner and completely useless moron, on Sunday, he
confirmed our move along with the agreement of 15 days storage until our new
apartment was ready. My first warning sign of to how utterly unprofessional
this company is should have been when I called 3 times yesterday to
reconfirm the address and each phone call proceeded with an "I'll call you
back" and "who are you again?" until I finally got a confirmation for a pick
up at 9:30am Tuesday morn.

9:30am came and went..no movers...finally at 11:30am they arrive without a
dolly, ramp or anything to secure our stuff. My roomie calls me in a panic
that she has a bad feeling about these guys and them being responsable for
our stored possessions for 15 days and also stressing out because the new
tenant was moving in at noon (as we were told it shouldn't take more than an
hour and a half to move our stuff out).

When she asked the movers about the location of the storage and insurance
about the moving, neither of them had any idea as to where they were taking
it or if they even had insurance but to talk to the boss. I immediately
googled them (thank god for technology) and that is when I found your site.
Thank you so much or who knows what would have happened to my stuff in the
next 2 weeks! Not only did I find your site, but tons of other complaints
and warnings against these scammers! I quickly arranged for storage with a
reputable company so now they had to move our things to the storage location
(adding another $150 dollars to my quoted price of $200 for the move one way
and free storage)

As I am doing this, they are moving my apartment (it is one bedroom worth of
small furniture)...again they told me 1 and a half hours max 2 hours for the
move. 4 hours later my stuff is in the truck!! After also being helped by
the lovely professional movers that the new tenant had hired who felt sorry
for my roomate who was in hysterical tears after having to experience hours
with the useless, rude and unprofessional Logan Movers. The nice movers also
told her that after they had been in business for 14 years they had never
seen such a pathetic move in their life and this move should have taken an
hour!

So now we are packed and off to storage, with my roomate almost
hyperventilating from stress and the moving truck keeps stalling on the
streets (how convenient..it seems as if they will do anything to take up
more time) Upon arriving, they refuse to remove the stuff from the truck
until she pays them $400!! What! We were quoted at 45/hour X 2 hours with
travel time! Where the hell r they getting $400 from even at 45/hour it
would have cost with travel it should have been about $250 max! My roomie
was so emotionally and physically drained (oh, did I mention as well that
she had to move half the stuff out of the truck and into storage along with
another wonderful man who worked at the reputable storage company who saw
how these vultures were treating another human being) that she gave him the
money to be done with it. Oh, and before I forget, she also realized that
thye had broken my wardrobe, 2 mirrors and couch leg.

To sum it all up, for anyone who reads this DO NOT, FOR ANY REASON, USE,
ENDORSE OR RECOMMEND LOGAN MOVERS! They are despicable, unprofessional,
rude, abrasive thugs whose owner will get what is coming to him. I am filing
this letter to every consumer watch, newspaper in Toronto and to anyone who
will listen to help and bring these guys down. Word of mouth is a powerful
thing and from what I ahev read, their list of complaints is growing faster
than their customer. Maybe part of this is my fault for not fully
researching their credentials prior and for actually having a little faith
in mankind!

I also want to say a big THANK YOU to all the beautiful, honest people who
helped us today and to Cathy for making this site and preventing me from
storing my stuff with this slime! Karma is a great thing...what goes around,
comes around. You give kindness, you get kindness. For LOGAN MOVERS,I don't
even want to think about what karma will give back to you!!

Sincerely,
Laura