Friday, April 30, 2004

Some days are so full, I forget where it all started....

I dropped by my old workplace and said hello to my former boss who asked me where I'd been.

"How long have you been gone?" he asked.

Then I joined everyone at the going-away lunch for a guy I hired so many years ago. He's now married, owns a house and, I just found out, has a kid on the way. Did I mention that my friend Tanya called me last night to tell me that her and her fiance have just bought a house in the Beaches?

On my way to an afternoon coffee with my friend Scott, I run into Joe... an original co-worker, almost like a brother to me, really. He tells me that he and his partner have split up, and that he's moving back home with his mom, but that he still sees his child... I'm trying not to think about how much younger Joe is... I suddenly feel that I'm not old at all.

And then, there I am, talking to Scott in the coffee shop about his upcoming wedding, my new job, his honeymoon. It's great. But it's weird. Everyone's either married or getting married, or having babies or buying houses.

I'm just excited to have a regular job. I'm thinking I might sublet from a uni student for the summer because I don't have enough money for first and last month's rent.

"It doesn't make us better than you," Scott says. "We just chose a different path."
Different, indeed.

And then I'm off to George Brown College to register for and attend my Marketing Strategies course. The teacher is eccentric and talks more than I do. Which is a feat, I can assure you. I meet a really interesting Finnish girl in my class and we talk about advertising leaflets and I choose my business for which I'm going to create a marketing plan: a hostel. How very adventurous of me. I'm excited about it; I'm excited about being a student again. I'm excited about the appointments that I've just made to look at summer sublets that I've found in the paper while waiting for class to begin.

After class, I rush off to meet Sarah at HotDocs. We watch "Arna's Children", an Israeli/Dutch documentary that shows me what a sheltered life I live; what a lucky, carefree childhood I had. I cannot imagine living in a place where people I love die as a matter of course. Where one speaks of dying or killing or suiciding as easily as, say, a bad haircut. They discuss whether it is better to die or to surrender. These are the choices they must make. Tomorrow I will choose whether to where jeans or black pants; whether to wear my hair up or down.

But somehow, I ended up walking home to this lovely 3-bdrm townhouse in the middle of the suburbs at 1:30am, just to pat the purring cat who came running to greet me as I opened the front door.

And only now, when I open up the laptop to tell of my amazing day, do I remember that they sent my contract this morning! I allow myself to feel happy and thankful that this is my reality.

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