I saw an interesting film last night, Ushpizin, a Jewish film about an orthodox jewish couple whose lives really sucked until they just, well, prayed hard enough. And then the miracles (and curses) started.

It made me think a lot about faith and how I wish I had some (aside from the small amount that I have in myself).

It also made me think about anger and having love inside. I find myself getting very angry quite a lot. And it actually physically hurts me by giving me headaches and an upset stomach.

I want to be someone who doesn't let things bother them. I want to be someone who seems a little outside of it all, musing quietly at the peripheral of fantastic events, knowing that all of this will pass, that this is a test of my character and strength, who is never shaken by criticism or a bad turn of events because I know that it will all work out.

They have an interesting way of looking at life and the world: it's all about God's will, not man's free will. No matter what happens, it's because God made it that way - it's all part of His plan.

It certainly wouldn't make much difference or sense to strive against the natural way of things, since you would know that this is exactly what was supposed to happen. It would mean less panic, less aggression, less stress. More passivity, more acceptance.

But it goes against my sense of life: how would you know that you could achieve all that you wanted to achieve? You would never strive for more, would you? There would be no value in it. It's all pre-determined: you'll end up as God wanted if you just follow what He lays before you.

Who is to know if that is the true way of Life?
There are no controlled studies that one can conduct.