Tuesday, December 05, 2006

OK, here's the thing: I hate it when people lie to me.

The problem with this situation is that often, you don't actually KNOW when they're lying to you. Sure, there are times when you catch them in a lie and then it's easy.

Black and white.

They lied.

When you have no proof that what they're saying is false and you just have a feeling, which may be a very strong feeling because the circumstances seem very suspicious, it becomes more difficult.

You can't come out and call them a liar. Because there's a chance, however small, that they may be telling the truth and that the truth, as they say, is actually stranger than fiction.

And if you DO come out and call them a liar with no proof, you're either:
a) crazy paranoid
b) an asshole
c) very intuitive/smart

It all depends on whether you're right or not. And as I said, this is difficult when you have no proof.

So what do you do?

Well, I question the crazy circumstances and ask if there's something they're not telling me, without flat-out calling them a liar. Which doesn't work so well, because they still have grounds to call me crazy/paranoid or an asshole. And they're all defensive and of course they're not going to suddenly admit to the truth. And now they can accuse you of not trusting them (in a righteous manner).

So, there's no benefit to this approach.
I'm looking for a new approach.

Now, keep in mind, I generally trust people that I know unless they have in the past shown themselves to lie. I myself lie quite a bit (keep that in mind when you're reading me - how do you really know that what I say is true?).

I don't actually believe that I'm untrusting. I think I have a healthy suspicion of suspicious circumstances, is all. Those who have proven themselves trustworthy, I trust.

Those who haven't... well, what does one do?


Stephanie said...

Life is too short to surround yourself with people you don't trust or those whom have proven themselves untrustworthy. Why waste your valuable time and energy plagued by doubts about someone else’s inability to live a truthful life? Your intuition isn’t just a ‘feeling’. It’s based on past experiences and behaviors. Besides, honesty and trust are the bonds that tie us to those we love. Without it, what’s the point?

Anonymous said...

Totally agree. And sometimes being lied to over and over, or even just once, can make you paranoid. I mean, unless steps have been taken to prevent the lies from happening again, what's to say the person won't hurt you again?
As the saying goes, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Cut off the liar, problem solved!