Found a whole stack of my old journals from years back. They pretty much start at the beginning of university. I'm taking my counsellor's advice and reading through my history as it really happened, instead of how my flawed memory recollects it.

Interesting to see the similarities between what's happening in my life now and what happened years ago. Interesting also to see the changes.

I have grown up and take more responsibility for myself and my needs. I say "more" because I have not totally grown out of my infantile desire for someone else to be in control. To be responsible for decisions that I'm afraid to make on my own and bear the consequences of.

If such decisions turn out badly, at least I can convince myself I wasn't the total reason for failure.

Clever little sub-conscious I have, wouldn't you say?

Ya, I know: I'm working on it.