Sunday, November 11, 2007

my weekend

I went for a really nice dinner party at a friend's house. It was so great to see them, catch up, etc. They have a really exciting opportunity coming up that may have them off to Amsterdam to work. I was envious hearing about it. Happy for them, but envious.

The rest of my weekend was pretty restful. I cleaned, cooked, watched movies, read, drank London Fogs at Starbucks, gardened, went for a long walk, rode my bike and grocery shopped.

It was quiet, but maybe something I needed. Until things went... wrong. Funny how one conversation can really change the way you think about your near future.

This morning, I was talking to my neighbour about the renovations I'm going to make next to my house. And now I'm emailing my real estate agent, asking him for a house assessment and letting him know that I may need his services sometime soon.

It can change just like that.

And suddenly your half-hopeful smile in the face of adversity crumbles. And you wonder how you could be so silly as to think that it was going to turn out alright.

Really, I only have myself and my expectations to blame for being disappointed. I should know by now that expectations only hurt me in the long run. And yes I am totally feeling sorry for myself. And yes I'm totally bitter and sad and disappointed. And tired and going to bed. While it's still my bed.

Tomorrow, it may not be.

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