I have a headache.

But at least I got to sit out in the beyond-beautiful weather today to eat my lunch and read my book "Men and Other Mammals". Good book.

Went for an awesome roller blade last night with Jess along the Martin Goodman Trail.

We bladed for about 2 hours before stopping off at Alex's for some water and a little TLC.

As it was time for dinner at 9pm, we decided Japanese was on the menu and I had a massive spider roll, which is likely the greatest sushi roll known to man. Soft crab, avacado, lettuce, yum.

Just got back from Kat's wedding shower. It was so nice! I just LOVE meeting new people!

It was nice to see Scott and Kat, they're good people. I should see them more often. I think I've got a big love-on for good people right now, but I am admittedly a little bit tipsy at the moment. I get very lovey when I've had some wine...

I got all wistful about getting married and having a house and all that. But then I remembered how much it scares the crap out of me. But still... it looks like so much fun.

I can't wait to see Kat in her wedding dress!

And soon Heather will be sending me my bridesmaid dress and I'm excited about seeing that too! I hope I fit in it, at least!

All these weddings... well, I think I need to stop thinking about it and get back outside where the weather is GORGEOUS. Maybe get myself to a Shopper's Drugmart and buy myself some stupid girly product... it always makes me feel better.

Last night was the first night of my new and improved Active Lifestyle.

I have a week pass at the GoodLife gym across the street from my work. Turns out it's a women-only club. Interesting. Never been to one of THOSE before...

It was quiet and clean and relaxed and there was no door on the changeroom. Weird. Takes some getting used to.

I had my orientation and then they wanted to show me how to use all the equipment, because OF COURSE I've never used WEIGHTS before. For goddessakes, the girl who was doing my session said that I could teach HER some lessons in form!

But I did manage to work out after that and generally work up a sweat only to stand out in the pouring rain, waiting for the #25 bus to take me to Don Mills Station. I was a Sad Cathy.

And today, I brought my workout clothes to work just in case it rained. But no! It was sunny, so I met Jess and we went roller blading around my neighborhood. It was excellent! I mean, don't get me wrong -- I SUCK -- but it was fun and I only wiped out once and that was on a nice soft patch of grass.

An hour (or so?) later and Jess was back on the subway on her way home and I was walking to Canadian Tire to run errands. What a gorgeous night. Not too hot, not too cold. Just perfect. I do love where I live. It's quite beautiful.

Sigh...

Anyway, tomorrow is volleyball and I think my back might be amenable to playing this time. YAY! I mean, WOW, will my team be happy to have ME back on the court. I don't know HOW they've been managing without me!

Rough Weekend Kick-Starts Early Monday Morning for WebGoddess

After breaking the news of finding a great apartment - cheaper and close to work - things got a little awkward chez moi.

Turns out that 2 months notice begins at the month end and that it is a personal slight that causes much unhappiness and awkwardness.

So much for my effort to be straightforward.

And, trust me, I'll be paying for it. Ugh.

I do NOT like drama.

Stay tuned for more updates.

I love weekends!

Last night I went out for drinks and munchies with Sarah and Shawn in a quaint little corner of the Annex, at the Victory Cafe. We ended up at Shawn's friend's house where I could see College Street blocked off for the street party, The Taste of Little Italy. I never got a chance to join the party, but it's there for a while yet, so I'll try to catch it later.

Today, Alex and I took a walk around the Beach, shopping (it was tough, but I didn't buy anything!) drinking smoothies and watching buskers. What a gorgeous day it was!

I love lazy Saturdays... not really lazy, but active in a "I don't HAVE to do anything" kind of way. My favourite.

I hate the design of my site. I need new one.

How about these:

Blue "Rounders"

Minima Black

Tic Tac Green

Tequila Snapshot

I am SO not a designer.
But I love pretty things.

I like blue (specifically smoky blues) and green (olive or sage) and black.
What do YOU like?

The funny thing about me is that I'm prone to thinking that I'm dumb, even though I'm probably quite smart.

I get down on myself because I believe I'm doing something or being stupid.

But the smallest thing can bring me up.

Yesterday, I was stressing and feeling down, thinking "I don't know what I'm doing." Then just a simple "you did a good job on that, Cathy" this morning, and I was suddenly the nicest person to be around.

Magic!

Alex tells me that, when I'm happy, I have the ability to make other people feel quite good about themselves. But when I'm not happy... well. I guess I take it out on others.

I'm very generous with my happiness. I want to spread it around.

So I had to miss volleyball tonight. Like, the whole thing! I didn't even get to watch.

Instead, I was sitting at work, working on a proposal.
Hrumph.

I suppose it doesn't matter, I mean, I couldn't play anyway. My back is still really stiff and sore. But it would have been nice to be outside and social on such a beautiful evening.

Instead, I'm home at 9:30pm, making my dinner of yogurt and a boiled egg. Pathetic!

I'm feeling a bit gross after having eaten baby-shower cheesecake and brownies all day. I need to start cooking again...

How has stress invaded my life again?

I keep telling myself there is no reason and yet it continues.

For now, since my roommate is away, I decided to have an evening at home. I actually cooked for myself. Bacon, since I can't make bacon when my roommate's here. sigh. And did laundry. Part of it, anyway. Finally.

And now I'm doing a couple of odds n ends on my computer.

And tomorrow it's back to face the challenge that is my job. It's scary but I suppose one never learns anything if one is never challenged or a little bit scared.

I remember it used to be my goal to do one thing that scared me per day.
Well, I think I've done plenty of scary things in the past year, the past year and a half, actually. I'm starting to slow down.

Time to do something scary again.

But for now, I think I'll keep listening to my Cat Empire CD and wishing I were in Sydney like they are right now (they just did the Jazz Festival yesterday and I know if were there, I'd have been at that show!) and Melbourne, as they'll be in a couple of days... I can't believe it's been a year since I went to the Sydney Jazz Festival in Darling Harbour.

Had a lovely weekend. Went to celebrate Alex's nieces' birthday, then out with him and Brian and Sharon and Rhonda. Got a bit drunk, which I regretted for the rest of the weekend to the tune of four $20-migraine tablets.

Then relaxed at home. I love home.

And now back to the crazy crazy life of me.

Had a visit with my orthodontist this morning. He's such a nice guy. If anyone wants a referral, just let me know.

And now I'm off to have drinks with Anita and somehow get home in time to do laundry.

... which I'd meant to do last night, but of course the laundry room was full and then I went out to dinner with Will and Lisa at a seafood restaurant that pretended to serve me Thai pan-fried sea scallops. More like crap-fried sea turds. At least the calamari was good.

Seroiusly, stop talking to me, I have to go meet Anita...

Raye has put together a totally well-written list of Top Ten Movies.

While I might not agree with them all (I mean, The Sound of Music is good, but not Top Ten in my book), but I respect her ability to put it out there unabashedly (even with the caveats).

So, I'm going to try a list...

1. The Mission - anything that can make me cry that hard for that long, even after seeing it 5 times...
   
2. The Lord of the Rings (FoTR or TTT, not sure... does that make it 2 entries?) - I was sad when they ended, angry that I had to wait a whole YEAR to see the next one
   
3. Moulin Rouge - see my references to Ewan; what a gorgeous movie
   
4. The Breakfast Club - ultimate teen flick; I can recite all the words. ("Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" "Don't mess with the bull, young man; you'll get the horns.")
   
5. Snatch - or Lock Stock 'n' 2 Smoking Barrels, but equally wicked cool
   
6. Ghandi - my inspiration
   
7. Matrix - the first one, of course, and I loved the special effects
   
8. Ocean's Eleven - total eye candy and so smooth
   
9. Dogma or Jay and Silent Bob Stike Back - probably the latter
   
10. Memento - so clever it hurt my brain. And Guy Pierce.
    

OK, these might change as I get comments. Stay tuned...

Last night I went and watched my beach volleyball team slaughter the competition yet again. We rule!

Of course, we probably wouldn't have won if I hadn't shown up to lend moral support... I mean, a team can only do so much on its own, right?

I couldn't play due to a broken back, but at least I got to watch the other team play (we're called "What Court Are We On?" and "What Court Are We On Next?" pretty slick, huh?).

But the best part was when we all went to the pub for dinner and socializing and mused about how, even though the rest of the world all seems to be getting married, buying houses and popping out children, we're still all still wedding-less, and then made plans to go out dancing on Friday.

Then Brian told me that I needed to be a little more scandalous on my blog, so as to entertain him in his sad, empty life. So I'm gonna hafta try harder. I usually keep the most scandalous stuff to myself, not wanting to embarass anyone, nor give anyone ammunition to use against me in the future. Although I should probably add to some people's profile that they love drama, I might add to my own that I do not. I wish I could pour my heart out on the internet and maybe someday I will, but in my world, some things remain private...

I mean, how else am I supposed to carry on 3 hot love affairs at a time?

Had a lovely weekend.

The wedding was nice and pretty fun for someone who didn't know anyone in the wedding party. Plus, they had a Godiva Chocolate Fountain! Ya, that's TOTALLY making an appearance at my debatably plausible wedding.

Then I had a leisurely Sunday morning, drinking tea, doing email, reading The Tao of Pooh and writing in my journal (my offline journal, not my online journal. I love writing. I wish I did it more often. I never seem to find the time these days. Thank goddess for Sunday mornings.

I got a visit from Alex and my mom, and they helped me move in the last of my things. My room looks like I live in it now. I have a computer that I can turn on (although it's not online yet, so I can't do anything about my site... sigh) and a stereo and pictures!

We all went to have a lovely steak dinner with Matt, who's recovering from surgery nicely. He never fails to make me laugh. He was a little upset with me for telling some friends of mine about his first date with Kendra, which was apparently too sappy for human consumption. Whatever, it's the sweetest story I've ever heard.

He should be happy I taught him how to be a sweetheart.

I think I have broken myself.

My back has me moving, once again, like a pregnant yak. And NO, I'm STILL not pregnant. Nor a yak.

I don't know what I did or which god I offended, but it's all coming back to me.

So I thought that maybe I should go to the theatre to watch SuperSize Me, it being cheap Tuesdays, afterall.

After wincing as I lowered myself into the seat and moaning when the old couple made me move to accommodate them, I settled in for the horror.

Good doco.
Apparently just released in Australia, and the director's just gotten back. Damn, it would be nice to be him right now... I mean, aside from the life-threatening shit storm he just threw at his body for the sake of media coverage and fame. I suppose I should know him before I throw stones. I'm just so jaded. Maybe, just maybe, he really thought "hey I'll do something for the good of society. I will leave my mark by squishing their fat faces into this vat of obesity they call life."

Who really knows his motivation? Only he does.

And now I have to go work off that ice cream I just ate while I wallow in pain.

Gee, I wonder why I have a body that misbehaves? I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I ate rhubarb crisp for breakfast...

Today I'm off to a wedding just outside Toronto. I have a dress and shoes and a haircut for the occasion, but I suspect that I will look like a pregnant yak. (NO, I'm NOT pregnant, it's just a nice visual for you.)

It's sunny today but a little chilly, and I'm hoping that my Guess dress will be warm enough, as I don't currently own a jacket.

I've had my two cups of tea this morning and am about to venture out for my walk in my quiet tree-lined neighbourhood. Maybe this will wake me up. I wish I didn't feel so tired all the time! At least I've had my leisurely weekend morning, which is my favourite part of the week...

Last night I met up with all the girls from my past work life. It was so wonderful to talk to them and see what they're up to now and just be girly and laugh.

I miss that comraderie. Starting a new job is tough. It takes time to make those friendships. Sometimes it's lonely at lunchtime, you know?

I made plans for a Lord of the Rings marathon weekend, talked about my new job, my new apartment and relationships. It was so easy and I miss that.

I got home and had a long talk with Alex, who was very sad. I realized that I get so involved with other people's problems, because I really FEEL them. I feel the pain and the injustices and I feel sick to my stomach, just hearing about them. I want to DO something to make it better. And I can't.

Then I lay in bed, thinking about how lucky I am; how many great and wonderful things I have in my life...

I have amazing friends who inspire and support me. A good job and a clean apartment in a great city. A family who loves me. A good education and the sense to use it. Talent. Relatively good health. Experiences and an inclination for adventure.

Sure, some horrible things have happened to me. But that's the nature of life. I've gotten through those things and it all worked out somehow... and put me in this lucky time and place in my life.

I might be a socially prescribed perfectionist.

What about you?

Last night I visited my brother at the Shouldice Hospital. Although he was in a bit of pain, it was still nice to see him.

Kendra took me. It was really good to hang out with her again. I miss her.