Thursday, September 22, 2005

I'm now doing something I really hate: I'm reading one of those books about negotiation.


I see all those suits on the TTC reading those things and I think: LOSERS! Can't they find something INTERESTING to read? What about REAL literature? What about improving yourself by educating yourself about the earth and its people?

You know, I can just think of so many other more intriguing books to read. I mean, I have a whole shelf of them that I can't seem to get to. And then there are the magazines: Explore, Travel Abroad, Outpost, Scientific American...

I'm really quite shocked that I'm spending my precious reading time on this.

But let me tell you, quite ashamedly, that it is totally worth it. I think, every once in a while, you need to read something like this. Especially when you get to the point when you start wondering if the entire world is insane you are the only intelligent being left. Or when you realize that you're probably going to throw your computer, your phone, or your client out the window if it so much as LOOKS at you the wrong way.

This is when you know you've had too much.
You need some perspective.

So I had to figure out, even if I'm not doing anything wrong per se, what exactly I could be doing more right.

Enter boring negotiation book.

So I'm reading and thinking, "Ya, I make that mistake," and that, "Uh-huh, they TOTALLY react that way when I say that!" And basically just realizing that your life could be made a whole lot easier if you just manipulated people better.

Once you get over the shame of this thought, you might actually open your mind up in the next situation and "look down from your balcony onto the problem" and "step to their side" and "reframe" so you can "build a golden bridge" and possibly even decide to "use power to educate" instead of escalate.

I hate it.
But maybe tomorrow I will make different decision about how upset I'll get over yet another proposal revision.


Anonymous said...

can I borrow that book when you're done?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're reading _Getting to Yes_, or _Getting Past No_, both of which advocate the win-win style of negotiation.

I just started reading _Begin with No_. The author describes how many "tigers" out there will present you with a supposed win-win deal, while taking you to the cleaners. His point is not to compromise unnecessarily. I.e. making the deal isn't the end goal, if it's not a good deal.

I find the writer's horn-blowing and chest-thumping annoying, but there's some useful info in the book.