Saturday, April 10, 2010

Anywhere but here

This is where I want to be right now.

OK, maybe not with this particular weather pattern. But you know what I'm saying? I just wanna be somewhere else that isn't here. And I want to have this smile on my face. My shoulders decidedly dropped away from my ears. Perhaps a lovely magazine or cheesey book on my lap. And no plans but to read 'em.

I've been having issues with sleep lately. With Spinning-Head Syndrome. A touch of Butterflyitis and preoccupation. Lacking an ability to focus.

I woke up this morning (Saturday morning) at 7am. Just opened my eyes. My stomach immediately started churning. Groan. I'm awake.

So I made the best of it. I boiled water for tea. Cleaned up the kitchen from our Thursday-night dinner party. Sat down with a homemade london fog and a Canadian House & Home magazine. Normally, this is all it takes. It's my favourite time of the week.

No deal.

My head is pounding and my stomach is still doing flips. I've got both a marathon and a sprint going on in my noggin. There's the long-term house renovation plan, finances and marriage consideration. Plod, plod, plod. Keep going, you'll make it through, right? Then there's the groceries and painting project and banking and wedding invitations. Nevermind the gardening, dishes, floors, bathroom, exercising and dress-procurement that I should get around to.

The problem is, there's nothing really wrong. I mean, getting married and renovating my house, cleaning after a night with friends, working hard at my interesting job and figuring out how to invest the money I do have... I should be so lucky to have such "problems".

I know. Fortunate.

And yet I feel... burnt out. I'm looking for cracks in my schedule so I can fit in more of the stuff I'm supposed to accomplish. Knowing that really what I need is more "me time." On a dock. In the sunshine. With a book.


Anonymous said...
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Unknown said...

I will say that after a shower I feel a lot better. I'm just really overtired. I don't deal well with little sleep.