Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Chocolate covered WHAT?!

Sometimes you just have to do it.

You know it's bad. Naughty. Wrong, even. But you still need to know.

Can bacon really be eaten with chocolate? I'm here to tell you it can.

It started with a birthday party for a beloved who adores, as you can imagine, bacon. Because who among us does not, really? Even the vegetarians out there secretly love bacon. They munch on it back-alley-styles. I'm not naive; I know it happens.

But they've never been brave enough for this. As soon as Amie suggested it, I knew I was in. My place.

Yes, there were seven cop cars parked outside my abode. No, it was not because they suspected our illicit activity. They were just cleaning up after a stabbing. Yes, a real one. And not a pig either. So, you know, it was just a usual Toronto evening in my hood. Stabbing and chocolate-covered pork products. On the same street.

Amie had bought several kinds of bacon and we tried a few ways of cooking it. The most effective? Bake it on cookie sheets in the oven (baking sheets with lips, of course - just say "no" to grease fires!) and drain the fat after each batch. Yes, you'll make more than one batch. Otherwise, what's the point?

Cool the bacon on paper towels. Give 'em a pat-pat-squeeze. I know it's a bit of a waste of perfectly good phosphate-filled fat, but you'll thank me in the end.

Melt the chocolate chips. Go for the semi-sweet. I mean, what were you going to use those for anyway? Cookies? Pansy. The easiest was the microwave for melting. Melt for a quick sec, stir, melt, stir, melt, stir. Until it's smooth.

Get some waxed paper on a pan or plate.
It's time.

Take a strip of bacon. Dunk one side down in the chocolatey goodness, then roll it over to coat the other side. You're going to have to let go of the bacon to get good coverage. It's OK though, it just means you'll get some chocolate on your fingers and you can lick it off later. But if you can stand to share your pork-bars, then you might wanna resist the temptation to spread your cooties around for now.

Place the shiny strip on the wax paper. Repeat until you've filled up the waxed paper without touching the pieces together. Put the whole thing in the fridge. Then, wham, bam, a few minutes later, the chocolate's all hard. And the bacon will be hiding -- lurking -- inside.

Now's your chance. Take it by surprise. Just bite right in.

You'll think: chew, chew, hm, kinda salty-sweet-crunchy like a Skor bar.

Chew. Chew.

Um. That's bacon in there. Smokey meat. Yep.

Chew, swallow, repeat. You know the drill. Go for it.

No comments: