Sometimes when you get to a crossroads, you sit there

Vijfsprong / forked road / crossroads a photo by Bert Werk on Flickr.

I know that every life, every relationship, is a journey.

Sometimes it's downhill and straight. It's exhilarating. And easy. You can feel the wind in your hair, catch your breath, take a look around at the scenery. You see exactly where you're going and it's a nice ride.

And sometimes it's uphill. For a long time. And it curves so you're not really sure where you'll end up. But you keep going, because even though it would be easier to go back down the hill, you'd just end up at the bottom of the hill. And maybe you're sure that it's going to open up around the next corner. And, anyway, this is a good trip, all in all, so let's keep going.

Me and my cycle

I started riding my bike this weekend.

I hadn't ridden all winter and my legs were a little rusty at first. So rusty, I wiped out on my way home from a friend's place at 1am. I'm sure the wine didn't help.

But today, we were back in the saddle. Just like old times, in my skirt and boots. Flying past the cars inching across the city. The wind on my cheeks and through my hair.

I didn't have to squish in beside the man in the steetcar who refuses to remove his backpack. In fact, I probably passed them on my two wheels.

Sadly, the moderate spring weather will turn back to angry winter with some snow tonight and my solace in cycling will be short-lived. But soon, very soon, that snow will melt.

And out will come that skirt and fancy-free wheelin'.

Project "Too Much!"

Against my better judgment, we're about to embark on yet another renovation project: the master bedroom.

We moved the bed so that Gordon can get out his side. Now you can't fit on EITHER side of the bed. Super annoying. Plus, the closet is too deep by five inches. I know, I can't believe I said that either. But it does take up five extra inches for something that we can't actually use. (Plus we can hear our neighbours having sex and we'd like to do something about that, so we will while we're renovating. I digress...)

First up is our existing set-up. As you can see, the path around the bed is extra squishy.

Below is what I call Option B.

What makes a good leader?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what makes for a good leader.

At one point, I even wondered if asking that question meant I was not a good leader - if not knowing indicated deficiency.

Specifically, I've been wondering what I can do to be a better leader. If you ask my team, they will say I'm swell. I know it. But I also know I can be better. I am NOT the best I could be. But I've started wondering if that thought alone -- that understanding that I am not perfect, that others sometimes know more, that acceptance and subsequent humility -- if that is what separates me from being a great leader (and not just a pretty good one).

I wondered if perhaps leaders just don't doubt themselves. And thus, my weakness is not having that confidence.

Just yesterday I voiced this thought for the first time.

Rediscovering fluff

This week, after some particularly character-building days, I had a realization.

I need something... else.

Not what I expected to realize, for sure.

I have been down. Feeling daunted. I certainly have no end of "things". Home renovations, personal quests, professional projects, social endeavours, plans for better health, financial improvements, relationship enhancement, meetings and appointments, calls and errands. Unread emails remain in my inbox, not for lack of trying to get through them. One exciting initiative launches, only to lead onto another in the wings with imminent deadlines.

So why something else?