Thinking

pocketcanoe
Originally uploaded by pocketcanoe

I do my best thinking when I'm walking by myself at night. And tonight I was thinking a lot.

I was thinking that I've been all stressed out lately. Overwhelmed. A little bit short-tempered. A wedding, a renovation, a work situation that's impossible to win right now. It would do it to most people, I'm sure.

And then I went to teach. And my learner, well, he's been doing something thinking too. About what he's going to do with his life. Or just about how to get a job. Or even some work in general.



As we compared stories (me: "I'm just so busy; there's no time to do all the stuff I want to do" - him: "I'm so bored.") I wistfully thought about a time when I did so much fun stuff. When I remembered what life is really about (which is to say NOT work, NOT getting "ahead", NOT how much one can accomplish in one lifetime, not even how much one can experience in one lifetime, but how much one can enjoy each moment in a lifetime). I did lots of stuff. But I didn't worry about the stuff I wasn't doing. Because it didn't matter.

And suddenly I remembered that I'd been forgetting my all-important mantra: NOTHING is really all THAT important.

The wedding? It will pass. Most people regret worrying about one day so much anyway. It'll either be stupid or fine, but stress-free will make it that much better.

The renovation? Worst case scenario, it could wait until I have more money and more time. Or I could do the big government payback parts and leave the rest til later. I could pay people to just take care of MORE of it instead of trying to do it myself. Or I could do nothing. It's not the worst place in the world. I've managed to live here quite some time with it in sub-perfect condition. Imagine that.

Work? It's just a website. And while everyone loves to have an opinion on websites and imagine that they could do better or know what exactly should be done because they're just that smart... well, it's still just a website. I am not judged on the quality of the website (not, at least, by the people who care most about me -- in fact, they don't really understand websites all that much and just love that there's a picture of me on it).

It will all pass. All of THIS.

The blog that needs to be edited. The performance goals that need to set. The strategy that needs to be devised. The venue that must be found. The money that needs to be saved. The dress that needs to look hot. The contractors that need to be guided. The estimates that need to be reviewed. The budget that needs to be trimmed. The investments that need to be researched.

All of the things that seem so important right now will someday be that thing that I may or may not remember doing all those years ago that really had no significant effect on my future.

And so, I thought, as I walked home, let's focus on that enjoyment of every moment thing... while of course achieving a few goals along the way (let's not go crazy now and pretend I can give them all up and go hippie-styles).