So last night I decided to try something new.

I joined the Ryerson Choir. My friend Tree has been a member for a while now and she invited me to come out.

So I thought, well, I love to sing, and she assured me it wasn't that hard... why not?

I recruited my friend Jessica, who also loves singing. I figured, great, at least I won't be a rookie on my own.

So we get there, and the choir master, made us sing in front of everyone. I thought I would die. I'm sure you're thinking "but if you're joining a choir, clearly you must like singing in front of people." But think about it. A choir means many people's voices are smooshed together so no one can tell which one is you.

There was no hiding in this room.
Do the scale, do it right, or "you're fired!"

So I'm feeling some butterflies smashing into my ribcage. Perhaps a few birds fluttering up against my heart and pecking my lungs out. Nothing serious. A drop of sweat trickles down my temple.

Jess sings.
God, she is GOOD. Damnit. She's been in a choir before.

I sing.
Oh, was that me? Is there an animal living down there? The high notes stick in my throat. OH god, oh god.

And then he tells me to go sit with the sopranos.
The sopranos, for goddessakes!

I buy the music book and sit between Tree and Jess (also sopranos, damn them). The piano starts.

They sing. I site there with my mouth hanging open.
I can't read music!
They're all reading music!

Crap. It's all over for me, I'm thinking. They're going to kick me out unless I produce some sound.

So I make a sound. And quickly stop as it reaches my ear. Ooooh, not good. Did that croak come out my MY mouth?

I learn to mouth the words.

Next week: Mouth the words with passion.